Esther Perel: “The crisis of desire is often a crisis of the imagination”

Esther Perel, the fucking fantastic sex therapist, believes that "a crisis of desire is often a crisis of the imagination". She believes that what distinguishes human's from animals during sex is that human have this capacity for eroticism, which is caused by imagination. (FYI erotic means: "relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement") So if imagination is essential to desire, maybe, you're not broken, you've just lost the ability to imagine.

#SoSS: the sex bloggers I’ve enjoyed this week

There's a movement online to share and share alike the sex blogs we've enjoyed this week. Since I've been blogging (three months) I've been introduced to a new whole world of sex positive people out there that I love discovering, and I know it's helping me improve my own sex drive. I do sort of …

Are you just too busy for sex? Five ways to put it back on the agenda

Have you ever felt like you hated your partner for suggesting sex? I used to feel so angry at my boyfriend when he came on to me and tried to initiate sex. It was a surge of annoyance inside, frustrated that he was asking, angry that he'd even suggest it. Why? Because I felt like I was too busy to have sex.

How I learned to stop worrying and improve my sex drive- the anxiety edition

It was so hard just bending my mind back round to the task at hand. Sometimes I couldn't get wet because my mind was wandering elsewhere whilst I was in bed.  It can feel really overwhelming, and distressing, to not feel like you are in the room. You desperately want to enjoy, relax, lose control, but in the end you feel tense, struggle to get wet, and don't enjoy it as much as you could.

“In sex, you need to let yourself go… to the point of foolishness”.

After watching Sexology (which I'd thoroughly recommend despite the cheese) I realised that a HUGE part of sex is about letting go, relaxing, and just enjoying. One of the women in the film states: "In sex, you need to let yourself go... to the point of foolishness". This resonated with me so deeply. It's about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Surrendering and releasing control. Being pleasured and finding pleasure. How many of us allow ourselves to REALLY just let go?