After a really stressful two years in which I was working full time, studying part-time and trying to juggle a busy social life, two house moves and two job changes, I emerged victorious but exhausted.
Although I bounced back quickly after I graduated from my studies, enjoying life and my spare time, one thing did not escape unharmed.
My sex drive.
I used to enjoy and want sex, but after the stress of everything, I felt like my sex drive was totally extinguished. It’s pretty shit, I might add.
So, here’s how it feels to have “no feels”…
1. No-one talks about it!
It often feels like having a low sex drive is “what other people have”. Barely any celebs own up to a low sex drive, apart from Boy George- love him!
Sex therapists try and tell you how to cure it. Articles promise quick tips of how to resolve it. But very few people talk about suffering from it, or what they did to help.
2. You worry there is something seriously wrong with you
3. Its embarrassing
4. You want to WANT to have sex.
You know you did it before. Very well in fact. But how the hell do you kick start wanting it now? The pressure you put on yourself to want it is even more of a mood killer.
5. You don’t know why this is a problem
Why on earth has this happened? Is it stress, my relationship, my physical health, my hormones, my diet, my bedroom furniture… my whole life? It’s hard to know where to begin because there are so many things it could be. And some of them are tough to consider.
6. You feel broken, dead inside
It’s totally shit having a lost sex drive. You feel like you are actually dead inside- there is no fire, no colour, just grey. I’m like a shadow of myself, lost my mojo and all of my vibrancy and vitality that goes with it.
7. You feel you’ve let your partner down
So we got together and I was totally into sex. A sexual goddess infact. Now he’s ended up with a rusty old banger that doesn’t fancy it anymore. Who has no idea how to restore it. Doesn’t do your confidence much good to feel like you’ve let your partner down. And there are the inevitable arguments when you try to avoid sex like the plague. Or just don’t massively enjoy it when you do.